As an imperfect person I know that I will never be the "model" parent. I am sure that when my children grow up they will have certain things that they will want to be different from how their father and I have raised them. I did the same thing when I was younger and thinking of my future family. One thing I hope that I have changed from my childhood is that I am there for my children. I might not spend every minute of everyday catering to their desires and whims or making myself their only source of entertainment, but I pray that I am spending more time with them then all the other things that try to take my time from my family. I have tried to be very active in my sons' school and their other interest. I look forward to the times that I can get them by themselves so we can have some one on one time together. A mother asked me one day (after my mentioning that I wanted to have more than two children) how can you say "no, I cannot spend time with you now" to one of your children?
First of all the myth that you have to divide your love the more children you have is completely "busted." I know it is hard to believe that you can multiply your love, but it happens. Just think of your families. Do you say to your family members, "sorry, but I cannot love you because I have only enough love for 20 people and my 20 have already been accounted for." No!! You can love many people and your love for some is different than the love you have for others. It does not change the fact that you love them all.
When I mentioned to this other mother that your love increases, she agreed though she said your time does not. That is true. I have a husband and two children to divided myself between. Then you have to consider, Are they the only ones (or things) that I have to split my time between? Again, no. As a Christian God is to be our first priority. Above all others, He is first (or at least he should be). After God then my family comes to bat.
The reason for this was a sad realization that there are children who have parents who put everything else before them. Have you ever seen a young child with their parent and all the parent is doing is business or anything else they want, but that child just wants a little time with their parent. To know that they are loved, valued, and are important. Yet to all who can observe that is too much for that child to ask of their parents. Even something so small as one hour a week is hard for some. Can you imagine a parent that cannot take the equivalent of ten minutes per day, or just a lump sum of one hour a week with their children? Of course, I will not even touch the topic of the parents who sign their kids up for all the different sports or other extra curricular activities just to have a place to "drop" them off and let someone else spend time with them. Now I am not saying that all parents who put their children in several different activities fit that mold, but I have seen too many that do.
I know that fathers are the head of the family and that they have to work to provide for their families. Sometimes I think that some people are so focused on making the most money, having the best "stuff", providing every material desire that they forget what is really important. To love. If you are spending more time working and cannot take a few hours out of each day for your family you might want to reconsider your priorities. I do not think anyone has ever looked back at their life and said "You know, I wish I had worked harder at my job rather then spend those hours with my family."
I guess I should end my rant. That was something that I really needed to get out. I want to end this with the lyrics to a song by Chris Rice:
Life Means So Much
Chris Rice
Everyday is a journal page
Every man holds a quill and ink
And there’s plenty of room for writing in
All we do and believe and think
So will you compose a curse
Or will today bring the blessings
Fill the page with rhyming verse
Or some random sketchings
Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways
Somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much
Life means so much
Life means so much
Everyday is a bank account
And time is our currency
So no one’s rich, nobody’s poor
We get twenty-four hours each
So how are you gonna spend
Will you invest or squander
Try to get ahead
Or help someone who’s under
Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways
Somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much
Life means so much
Life means so much
Has anybody lived who knew the value of a life?
And don’t you think giving his own
Would prove the worth of yours and mine?
Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways
Somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much
Life means so much
Life means so much
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2 comments:
Always running, always hunting, looking, yearning, striving, turning, chasing the tomorrow that never comes.
I am so thankful that God has allowed you and M to be professional mom's and I am thankful that you are both great mothers who love their children.
Thanks BJ. I always wanted to be a SAHM and I am glad that God blessed me with a husband who wanted the same thing.
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