Loneliness

It has been two weeks since Daddy has been gone and it still seems unreal. I keep waiting for his call so I can come get him. I go to the house I grew up in and wait to hear him walk in the door or the room. Disappointment sets in every time I leave and I do not see him. I am drawn to his room just so I can find something that smells like him. The sanctuary of his office has been changed and it is losing the feeling of being his. I long for the sound of his voice, to hold his hand, to kiss his cheek and tell him that I love him. Loneliness is plaguing me. It is completely selfish, but I desperately wish he was here.

Prayers Needed

The past month has been difficult, but the past week has been devastating. My Daddy went in the hospital last month for open heart (aorta replacement) surgery. The surgery went well and he was recovering very well. I took him for the first of his follow up appointments on Nov 29th and blood work and exam both came back with good reports. Then last week on Thursday he started feeling poorly and had a dizzy spell.

Friday I went back and he was worse and had a drop in blood pressure and almost collapsed. We took him to the ER and after 2 EKGs and a chest x-ray came back fine we thought he would just stay overnight for observation then come home. I got a call about 1:45am on Saturday morning from my mom and something was wrong. Seems several factors came together to create a "perfect storm" in Daddy's body. He went into cardiac arrest and was unconscious. He was on a fine line and they said it would be a miracle if he came out. I was praying for that miracle! After the first few crucial hours past and he was still declining we were told he might go at any time. My brother lives 14 hours away so we called him and he and his wife were coming as well as my Daddy's younger brother who lives 5 hours away.

Against all of the Doctors and nurses expectations Daddy stayed with us until Sunday morning. My brother and his wife had made it in at 2:30am Sunday and were able to see him. Although Daddy never regained consciousness I know that he knew we were there and he waited until they all got in. I had rarely left his side since 4:30am on Saturday when we first were able to go in the room with him. I was still having to leave every so often to take care of the baby, but I tried to only be gone for 20-30 minutes at a time.

I was with Daddy by myself for those last hours. I talked to him, held his hand, rubbed his shoulder and kissed his forehead and told him how much I love him. Around 6:30-7am Sunday I woke and his vitals were slipping lower. We knew it was going to happen soon. I got the call that little man needed me so I told Daddy that I was going to be gone for a little bit then I would return. I asked him to hang on until I returned. I was gone for about 15-20 minutes to nurse my little man when I got the call from the nurses to hurry back. I rushed back to him and a few minutes later he was gone. I was so glad that I was with him at the end, but I am devastated that I will not see him again until we meet in heaven. I just remember not letting go of his hand for a long time almost afraid to let go of him. Please pray that I will have the strength to help my mom during this time.

Bear At Five Months

My little Bear is growing quickly! It is hard to believe he has been with us for five months now. Of course it is also hard to believe that there was a time before he was with us. Over the past couple weeks he has started eating rice cereal, sweet potatoes and green peas. He liked the rice cereal and loved the sweet potatoes! The green peas were not such a hit! He started to spit them out after two bites! He has also started to move around more. He turns around and will roll multiple times to try to reach things.

Rolling and playing on the floor

Sitting on the couch with Bubba.

Dressed for the Vols game

Bear At Four Months

Yes I am late again with posting pics, but here they are anyway! :)

2011 East Tennessee History Fair

This looks to be an amazing event! Civil war trolley rides to historical sites, historic craft demonstrations, and walking tours led by Knox Heritage are just a few of the great things planned. To learn more go to the event page on the East Tennessee Historical Societies website. The event will be at the East Tennessee History Center, Krutch Park, Downtown Knoxville on Saturday, August 20, 2011 from 10 a.m.- 5 p.m.

Columbia, SC

I have been to Columbia, SC many times, but this year we saw a few things I had never seen before. I just thought I would share these wonders with you all.

Bear At Three Months

Here is a little of what has happened in the third month of Bear's life:

Just being happy at home with his family

Butch holding him as he sleeps

Resting with Bubba after touring Biltmore in Asheville, NC

Getting ready to see the beach for the first time

Putting his feet in the ocean for the first time at Sunset Beach, NC

Bear At Two Months

Boy time passes quickly! My little Bear is two months! He went to his check up last week and all was well. He was 10lb 13oz and 22in. He got his first round of shots and had a low grade fever for a couple of days, but then he was fine. He actually got to spend his two month mark celebrating at the wedding of his uncle and aunt! Here he is with little Miss C!

Bear At A Month

I am a little late in posting, but our little bear is growing. Here he is around a month old!

Highland Games

Last week we went to the Great Smoky Mountains Highland Games. We all had a fun time! Here are a few pics.

Border Collie exhibition

Pipes & Drums

Bubba and Joe at the battle ax throw.

Butch threw, too, and got his first one in!

Little Bear

My little bear has been growing while he has been growling at us. Today we had his one month appointment. He is now 8 lbs and 20 1/4 in of handsome little man! Everything looked good and he is doing well.

Blessed

Not only have we been blessed with our new little man, but also with the love and support from family and friends. I was greatly surprised at how many gifts we have received. Normally you see gifts for the first baby and possibly when you have one of the opposite sex, but not for your third son. I had a cousin and sister-in-law who have really helped with clothes, a brother who is letting us use his baby furniture, and lots of family and friends getting other gifts for us.

I had put together gift registries mainly for my personal use and for discounts on some of the larger items we might have to purchase. One thing I was looking at possibly having to purchase was a new stroller and also a harness booster seat for Otter. Our travel system stroller that we purchased with Otter is worn and the car seat expires in Dec. I was looking at a double stroller, but figured a single stroller would be best. I had put both on my registry because the stores will give you a coupon for a 10-20% off a registry item that was not purchased. Imagine my surprise when a group of people at Joe's work pooled together and purchased us a double stroller! Then I got another surprise today. A FedEx man delivered a new travel system to my house. I have no idea who has given us this gift and I have not seen a letter, message, or e-mail to indicate who gave this to us, but I was really surprised! We have been greatly blessed!

New Addition

We got a BIG surprise last week. Our newest little man decided to come early. He was healthy and showed no issues that can appear with early babies which was an answer to prayers. He did have jaundice and we had to do home phototheraphy, but he is better and doing well. His brothers and sister have been so excited. They fight over who will hold him! Here are some pics of each holding baby brother.

Pics Finally!!

I finally got to see little man's face today! He had his forearms up by his face, but he did move them so we could get a pic. Here is the newest little one!

Britax B-Ready Stroller Giveaway

I have been looking at the Britax B-Ready strollers and they are awesome strollers! They can work as a travel system with the Chaperone infant seat (they also have an adapter for several other brands of infant carseats), but they also have a bassinet and a second seat for toddlers. With the three different accessories it has 14 different configurations of how you can use this as a single or double stroller. I love the fact that it can have the child as front or rear facing with the regular seat as well as the infant seat. It has a large under seat storage, adjustable handle height, all wheel suspension and more! Right now The Bragging Mommy website is having a giveaway for one of these strollers. If you want to learn more about the B-Ready stroller or other products from Britax visit the company's website.

Getting Prepared

I was very excited to get an e-mail with a 20% off code from a website where I have a baby registry. I looked on their site and saw that it would apply to the crib bedding I was hoping to get for our little man. I was able to get a great deal on the set! I am looking forward to being able to get his crib ready for him as soon as I get the bedding!

Two Docs In One Day

Yesterday I saw my OB for another check on our sleeping warrior. Everything was great! From the measurements he seems to be growing well. When the Dr went to check for the baby's heartbeat he was startled by one of his big kicks! It was so funny because I am telling you I am positive it made my Dr jump back a little! This was even funnier because at my last appointment I mentioned that he was not a big kicker like the others, but instead preferred hitting. After then he has decided to show me just how well he can kick! Yes, all is well with this baby boy!

For a while now I have been dealing with some headaches with no clear reason why. After talking with my OB a few weeks ago he told me to get an eye exam. I admit that the last time I had an eye exam was back in 2001 when Butch poked me in the eye which resulted in blunt trauma to my cornea. That eye has never quite been the same, but I never noticed a vision issue. So yesterday I went and had my exam. Everything looked good. The retina scan (I was told) looked amazing and more like a teenagers then an old woman like me. :) I was told that I had 20/20 vision, but she had a prescription for me. Seems that I have an astigmatism in my left eye. Though she said it was slight it might be the cause of the headaches I have been having. So I ordered a pair of glasses and have to wear them all the time for two weeks, go back for a follow-up to see if it has helped then if it has I wear "when needed." So in the next week it looks like I will be sporting a new look.

Otter & The Cow

Otter was so happy to be able to hug a Chick-fil-a cow!

Tennessee Theatre

When JoJo and I went to see White Christmas in December we learned that another classic movie favorite will be showing at the Tennessee Theatre this month. The classic 1954 movie Sabrina starring Humphrey Bogart and Audrey Hepburn will be showingon Feb 14th at 8pm.

Baby #4 Update

Well, it seems that baby #4 (nickname still undetermined) has been growing well over the past month. I had a checkup today and everything looked good with a nice strong heartbeat. Of course he is still moving like crazy most of the time! I go again in three weeks for the glucose test. Yuck!!! I always dread those, but so far have never had a problem. Hopefully this time will be no different.

After my appointment Otter and I headed to do a baby registry. She was excited about looking for stuff for her baby brother. Actually she was a little disappointed that we were not buying stuff for him today! She especially wanted to get him some toys. She would pick out clothes for me to scan for him, too. I must say that although the selection for boy items has improved since I had Bubba, it is still not comparable with all the cute girl things out there!

Honesty and Trust

Some times we lose sight that being dishonest will gain us nothing but a loss of trust. Some times we say it is to protect others that we are not honest, but more often then not it is to protect ourselves. To lie is being dishonest, but it can also be dishonest to ignore or not tell the truth. The not telling of the truth can also lead to misunderstandings or as a sign of wrongs having been done with no desire to be admitted. Trust must be earned and if you are unwilling to be honest and truthful then do not expect to be trusted. The ones who are dearest to our hearts are the ones who are said to be the ones with the ability to hurt us the most. That is true. Trust is not something that is instantaneous. It takes time to prove to someone else that they can trust us, trust our word. We have to prove ourselves worthy of their trust. When we break that trust it will not be returned in an instant. We have to rebuild that trust. Words are empty when we have no trust in the one who speaks them. Can we ever lose someone's trust forever? That depends on whether we care enough to fix the relationship that we have damaged.

Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. Luke 16:10

We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger. ~Tad Williams

Tired

My sleep is definitely being compromised during this pregnancy. Seems that this little boy is going to be very active. Normally he would get active right before I went to sleep at night and if I woke during the night he would lightly move until I was going back to sleep. Not for the past few nights! Right now he has been quite the night owl! He has been not only active, but his movements are very strong! Poor mommy has not been able to sleep well at night with this sort of activity and even trying to take a little nap during the day has not helped. I try to sleep and he tries to keep me awake. Hopefully this is not a sign of what is to come!

Hanging Out With Bubba

I had the rare opportunity to spend a day alone with Bubba. The other two children were over at Mamaw's house spending the night. This morning I ask him what he wanted to do and the one thing on his list was to head to the comic book store to pick up a X-men comic that Wesley was missing from his collection (Bubba has borrowed them and has been reading them the past few days). So we get ready and headed out to go a few places. First we went to do a Baby registry where Bubba got to use the scanning gun to add items to the registry. He was going scan crazy! Then we had a wonderful lunch at Chick-fil-a followed by a trip to McKay's. After all that he finally got to the comic book store and found the one he was looking for with just enough time to read it before we got to the grocery store. Seemed like he enjoyed the time with his momma which makes me happy.